I was chatting with a friend the other day about some of the little stresses of life we were both experiencing. We actually both lost our dads on September 20th, just a year apart. As we cried together about missing our dads, I started to say that this season we're in is hard, but I stopped myself. For Tim and I, "this season" has seemed quite long, so my conclusion became that life is hard. It seems to get harder the older I get. I know the Christmas season can be very difficult for many people for many reasons and now I am one of them. Christmas means family and family means a reminder that Dad is gone.
So I am thankful like never before that I serve a loving Heavenly Father who sent a sacrificial Son that I might know Him. God was separated from His Son, just like I am separated from my dad. But only for a time. Just like me and my dad. And my God can handle my raw emotions this Christmas. The anger, the sadness, the frustration, the despondency, the numbness. He can handle all of it. And I believe He welcomes it when I appropriately direct it to Him so that He can heal it and bring restoration to my broken heart. I don't really feel like celebrating Christmas this year. I don't care about presents or even being with people I love. (Except of course for my amazing husband and precious boys) Sorry, just being honest. Right now, I am sad and kind of a bah-humbug. But I DO feel like celebrating Christ. I wanna sing hymn after hymn after hymn about the birth of my Jesus, because He is the reason that I know I will be joyful again.
Even though Dad should be with us, God is good.
Even though we grieve, God is good.
Even though my heart is broken, God is good.
Even though...God is good.
Merry Christmas - HE is worth celebrating.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
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