For a few years now, Tim and I have felt a sense of homelessness. We felt it even when we were still living in the duplex. It never truly felt like home and we never really settled in b/c we knew we would be moving on from there shortly. The places we have lived over that past few years have always felt transitional, especially as we were prepared our hearts to receive Senegal as home.
Here we are, on the cusp of moving into a real home, a place that will be ours, where we can raise our boys and settle in. The mere thought of that reality truly overwhelms my heart. I want to settle in and cultivate a home my family so badly I can taste it.
Yet almost from the moment our offer was accepted and the purchase agreement signed, the enemy has been trying very hard to steal our joy in this process. The hits just keep on coming, from stressful family situations to major health insurance problems to hefty car repairs. All with Christmas and Jackson's 2nd birthday around the corner as well!
I don't think it's any coincidence that as we are ready to launch into an exciting new season of our life together, Tim and I are struggling to make sense of some of our circumstances. The Lord was faithful to remind me this afternoon that it was He who established the earth and it is He who sustains us. Who do I trust in, my bank account or my Savior? I can't control any of these situations and quite frankly, I feel very out of control and powerless these days. But He is faithful and He will be faithful to us and will provide all that we need.
We have a friend who often says that God makes the man before He makes the ministry. We may have stayed home from the mission field, but we are still living in expectation of a powerful and annointed ministry. So, it looks like God is "making us" into what we need to be b/c it sure feels like the fire is being turned up a notch. Praise be to God!