If you know me, you know I like to go to bed early, typically 10pm. Tim likes to stay up, but I need my sleep. So when I tell you that I am sitting up typing this blog at 11:45pm you know that means something. I went to bed at 10:15 and laid there totally awake for 45 minutes until the Lord finally got through to me that I needed to come and write this post.
Tim and I often dialogue about why we keep a blog. In the beginning, it was obvious: a way for friends and family to keep up with us while living in West Africa. These days though, it seems less clear to me why we blog. As much as Tim loves football and I love coupons, posting about those topics can seem a little fluffy in the grand scheme of things. Blogging just to blog is a waste of time. I have often been motivated to blog by a desire to make people understand our situation; to help people “get it.” But making people understand is not my job and this is an attitude that I have needed to repent of as God has challenged me to examine how much I care about what others think of me.
Blogging is such a funny thing to me b/c you never really know who is reading your posts and you rarely get much feedback. You put your thoughts out there to fade into cyberspace or maybe people are entertained by them. Either way, I do find it cathartic. It’s been a helpful tool for me to process this past year.
Though this year has been nothing that we expected, God has been speaking to us more than at any other time in our lives. On the surface, it’s been a pretty dull time for us and we have felt lonely, isolated, and discouraged. We’re far from friends and away from community events (and that got really old really fast), but when we really think about it, this year has been anything but boring.
God has kept us on our toes. He has ministered to us through prophetic words again and again and He is building up that gift within each of us. (For all of our non-Pentacostal friends out there, don’t freak out, ok? Bear with me!) It’s these stories of His grace and mercy that really get us excited about what He’s up to. It’s these stories of His faithfulness, provision, and hope that we want to share with you. It’s these stories/experiences that have kept us seeking Him this past year when we have wanted nothing more than to give up and walk away.
We don’t say the things we say in order to prove something to you. God told us to stay and we stayed. But that’s not the end of the story. We want to share these things b/c God is doing a good work and He is pouring out His spirit upon us in exciting new ways.
Words cannot express how devastated Tim and I have felt, and sometimes still feel, this past year. God has stripped away almost everything from us (title, ministry, location, financial security, you name it, we feel like we have lost it). Most days, we feel keenly aware of all the things that we seem to lack. But what we don’t lack, the most important thing, is Him. In fact, He has given us more of Himself.
Our desire has always been to be transparent with our ministry partners and though we’re not in ministry right now, but we speak with faith when we say that we will be. And as we journey with God to that end, we deeply desire to encourage others along the way.
So now our blog has a revised focus. We want to share with you (whoever you are J) the “nitty-gritty” of what God is doing in us as we work out our salvation with much fear and trembling. Please don’t be scared off if we start using language that we haven’t used before in the blog. It’s still us: Tim and Heidi. We are just sharing more b/c it’s time. It’s time to speak boldly about the things that God is doing in our lives b/c that’s what He’s called us to do. When we hear a powerful prophetic word from God, we want to share it that He would be glorified.
There might still be an occasional post about football and coupons, but mostly we want to boast in our God about this crazy ride that He has us on; it’s still a painful and bumpy ride, but it’s good.
So please, join us in this adventure, leave comments, leave prayer requests, let us know how God is working in your life that we could join in with you and ride the wave of His mercy.
Ok, it’s 12:35…..I am tired!