Monday, January 30, 2012

1 year ago today...

It was 1 year ago this past weekend that we learned of the highly aggressive form of prostate cancer that my Dad had.  One month, he seemed fine and then before we could turn around, he had terminal cancer and then, he was gone.  It all seems like such a blur.

Lately, I have found myself pulling back dramatically from blogging/facebook/email, etc.  While God is faithful with reminders of His goodness, my new motto has been:  if you have nothing positive to say, say nothing.  No one wants a "Debbie Downer" after all.  And most days, I need a little boost.  Actually, it was getting pretty bad when it dawned on me that perhaps I had moved into the depression phase of grief.  If there was one....I wasn't sure.  I did a little research and sure enough.  At least my apathy, weariness, and overall grumpiness could be credited to that.  Reading through the stages of grief proved very affirming to me.  Both Tim and I have felt a shift as we are settling into the "new normal" without Dad and I found comfort in knowing that we aren't alone in what we are feeling in this process.

We have finally started to reconnect with the outside world on a regular basis these past two weeks and have started entertaining again.  That said, I am exhausted and think I need a break already!  Oh how the mighty have fallen...  When we were support raising, a typical week included entertaining at least 4 nights a week.  Easy-peasy.  Not the case anymore.  Still worth it, but more work.

I don't have much else to say, just wanted to break the silence a bit and remind everyone that we are still here, plugging away.  Life is in a challenging phase for right now.  We are SO thankful for these cutie-patutie boys, even if they keep us on our toes.  The Lord continues to challenge us to trust Him more and in scary new ways, which I guess is a compliment, since it would seem He thinks we can handle it.  One day at a time, folks, that's all we can do.  And that's all He asks of us.     

Please pray for our duplex and for the tenant we are evicting.  Eviction is quite costly and we hate to interrupt someone's life in that way.  Thanks.

No comments: