belly of the fish

Dad died 9 months ago and I have been experiencing a "pocket of grief" lately.  To commemorate this day, I will be attending a funeral of a dear friend who was only 36 and leaves behind husband and three small sons.

I am so over this.  Cancer sucks.  I am ready to start actually seeing some miraculous healings.  I didn't actually know Preethi very well until she received her diagnosis.  At that point, I entered into prayer for her healing with all the faith I had and through that process of praying for her with a small group of faithful women, I got to know her very well.

My heart is broken.  I feel numb.  And I wait.

I wait for a loving, compassionate God to sort through my confusion with me one day at time.  It's all I can do.

Today I am thankful for a God to can handle me when I am at my most raw.  It's not pretty, but He's not scared.