Sunday, June 03, 2012

my "sometimes middleman"

Thanks for your comments on that last post, friends.

This morning, we are "bedside Baptists."  Especially funny since we aren't even Baptists...

While the twins were napping, Tim took Jackson for a little walk and I was left with a quiet house - such a tremendous gift.  I quick cleaned up the kitchen, folded some clothes and snuck outside for a little time with the Creator.

I find it encouraging to be reminded that "Hell works the hardest on God's saints.  The most worthy souls will be tested with the most pressure and the highest heat, but heaven will not desert them."  (Streams in the Desert)  In case you missed that last part, heaven will not desert them.  Praise be to God.

I certainly don't feel like the most worthy of souls, but I do feel tested right now.  My test is hearing from God in a painful and confusing time without my "sometimes middleman."  I realized that Dad was what I want to call my "sometimes middleman."  It was just so easy to go to him for wisdom, advice, counsel, etc. because he seemed to always have godly counsel to give.

At times, its easier to phone a friend, or a dad in my case, than it is to seek God and wait until His answer comes.  It always comes, but not necessarily in my timeline.  Without our go-to guy, Tim and I have often felt  like we're left without a friend to call, so to speak.  The truth however, is that we are not deserted.  Heaven has not deserted us and in fact, our very best resource is closer than ever.

I, without a doubt, believe that Dad had more to teach me, more to explain, more fathering to do, but God, in his infinite wisdom, allowed Dad to come home regardless of that.  Apparently God considered us capable of hearing from Him without our "sometimes middleman."

So where does that leave us?

Well, it leaves me in a place of thankfulness.  I am thankful that my dad taught me how to seek God before he died.  He taught me how to stand in faith in the face of hopelessness.  He taught me the best lesson he could, to know God and be known by God.  For that I will be forever thankful.

After sharing my last post, a few of you have shared your current struggles with us and its so refreshing to know that none of us are alone!  Stand strong, Beloved, and know that heaven has not deserted you.  He hears your prayers and your answer, your victory, is coming!    

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