For anyone we missed.....

Dear friends, July 28, 2009
We write this newsletter with heavy hearts as we want to share with you how God has led us to alter our course from going to Senegal. The past few months have been a very painful process as we have prayerfully agonized over this decision.

In March, Tim and I felt the Lord prompting us to lay everything down on the altar. At first it seemed to us that we would lay down our ministry and then be able to pick it right back up, like Abraham did with the sacrifice of his son, Isaac. But after a couple months of diligently seeking God on this we experienced a shift and felt God nudging us to be willing to face the possibility that we might not pick it up again.

Upon returning to Minnesota after our training in Colorado, we diverted our attention from fundraising and began to press into God more forcefully. We sought godly council and spent hours praying and weeping over this potential loss. In the end, both Tim and I felt we had clearly heard from God that we needed to be obedient and heed the Lord’s instruction to stay. We were no longer hearing a “yes” from God. So we have taken this position of painful obedience and we are no longer going.

This has been a lonely and difficult process, to say the least, and may continue to be so as it’s a challenge for us to thoroughly express just how broken we feel. We had truly adopted the Wolof people into our hearts and were eagerly anticipating serving alongside our teammates. But God’s ways are higher than man’s and we know that we can’t step into a ministry unless we are 200% confident that it’s where God wants us. So although we are feeling like the bottom has dropped out underneath us, we both have perfect peace with our decision. We don’t know what God has in store for us, and right now it is taking more faith and trust for us to stay rather than to go. But we are stepping out in faith that we will stay and He will provide.

Please know that we have processed this decision with The Navigators extensively and they have graciously walked us through it. We have just returned from traveling out to Colorado again to personally bring some closure to our partnership. Tim and I wanted to honor them with a personal visit to show our deep respect for all they have done for us and the high esteem we still hold them in. They have been honoring of us by affirming our gifting, whole-heartedly supporting us in our ability to hear from God in this matter, and spending time debriefing us.

On a practical note, we are still living with my parents in Rogers, MN and Tim will start looking for employment. Because we are leaving Nav staff effective August 31st, you can discontinue your support of our ministry immediately by calling 1-866-568-7827. We are so thankful and have been so humbled by the faithful financial support you have generously given over the past 2+ years. Your investment in the Kingdom has not been wasted and all remaining funds in our account will go to other Nav missionaries. If you wish to continue supporting the ministry in Senegal you can designate your donation to account #23741333. Once again, thank you for your faithful support of our family in this endeavor.

Our desire is to make ourselves available to you to answer any questions you may have or to explain anything in greater detail. We are transparent in this that God would ultimately be glorified. His plans are perfect and though we don’t understand them completely right now, we know He is good and we rejoice in that. Throughout this process He has continued to confirm our calling to minister in the nations in some capacity in His perfect timing. We have no idea what that will look like, but we trust His timing.

The Lord has certainly sustained us on this journey and we know that the past 3+ years have not been in vain. For many years our lives have belonged to the Lord and therefore, He is able to use them as He pleases. He has made his nearness extremely evident to us as He’s walked with us through this crossroads. As we make the transition fully back into life here, both physically and emotionally, Tim and I still covet your prayers as we are desperately grieving this loss on a daily basis.

Trusting in Him,
Tim and Heidi

dear friends and random mountain cars

I am still playing catch-up from blogging about our time out in Colorado, so here's another one:

Tim and I were out there for 5 weeks of training, a 2 week session and a 3 week session. There were 2 families and 1 single guy that were there with us all 5 weeks and they really became dear friends to us. (Sorry James, I don't actually have a pic of you! But we love you!)

Steve and Julie, aka "grandpa" Steve and "auntie" Julie :) They are headed to Mozambique and we had a wonderful time getting to know them!

This family was another favorite. Here are Angie and Tom, but we couldn't wrangle their 4 beautiful kids for the picture. We had a blast with these guys. Angie and I decided we were best friends that hadn't met yet....or was that me and Kate...? I can't remember. Either way, I love 'em all! Praise God for new friends, you can't ever get enough in my book.

Now the problem with going through an intense training session with missionaries, and this goes for everyone we met at MTI, is that you get to know these incredible people and then they scatter to the nations. By the end, we wanted to be on the same team as everyone we met!!! We definitely made some life-long friends.
Here's our random mountain car.

While hiking Queen's Canyon at The Glen, we came across this random car near the top of the mountain and no one at the facility (that we asked) has any idea where it came from. Super weird. There was no trail from the top indicating that it came crashing down and it was evident that it had been there awhile, but not through a winter. Weird.....random mountain car.

Jackson's time at MTI

At MTI we needed to utilize the on-site childcare for Jackson so that Tim and I could get the most out of the training. I was a little dubious, but it ended up being a great opportunity. So here are some pics of the great time Baby Jack had ad the great friends he made!"Grandpa" Steve was a special favorite of Jackson's, I think it was the Oklahoma accent! He just LOVED listening to Steve talk or sing to him.

Miss Kate was also a special friend to Jackson, they spent many a mealtime together while Tim and I ate :) Thanks again, Kate!!

Little Andrew was Jackson's buddy in daycare, they would lay and look at each other. haha

And last but certainly not least, is Michelle, who took GREAT care of our little guy for 5 weeks straights. She set us at ease and did a fabulous job.

Prayer cabin

Last week I (Tim) spent a couple days at a prayer cabin at The Wilderness Fellowship, (http://www.wildernessfellowship.com/), in Wisconsin. I went up on Monday afternoon and returned Wednesday about noon. My purpose was to seek the Lord about what the next couple months should look like. All I took was some simple food, my running gear, my Bible, and my Ipod with some worship music on it. I am extroverted enough that the solitude started getting to me after a while but that was also when I felt the closest to the Lord. Each day I took a walk on the amazing trails and also went running to clear my head. The worship music helped me prepare to pray and I also spent some significant time in the Gospel of Luke. I strongly recommend the prayer cabins as a fantastic way to connect with the Lord while avoiding distractions. It was a great experience and I am glad to have had the chance to spend such quality time with my Lord.

I did miss Heidi and Jackson an awful lot while I was gone.

Father's Day

Today was my first Father's Day as a father. When I look at my little guy I feel a sense of responsibility that I have never felt before. I love him so much and want to do right as his father. When I worked at Rawhide Boy's Ranch, I noticed that there was one thing that was the same with every single boy at that Ranch. Their fathers were all either physically or emotionally absent. Children need fathers in their lives. They can have the most wonderful mother of all time but still grow up a mess because they lack a father. American society has undervalued fathers and many men have shunned their role as a father. Men need to embrace their role and stand up for fatherhood. Let's get moving, fellas.

By the way, happy father's day, Dad. I was one of the fortunate ones. Thanks.

Pretty cool.

Weeks ago I (Tim) wrote a post about how we felt the Lord was telling us to give away our car even though a guy from the oil change shop offered $550 for it. Well, we did give the car away instead of taking the money. A few weeks later we were given two checks from friends that equaled $550. God is good.

Jackson's update in pictures

One thing that we really enjoyed about being at MTI was the closeness of the trails. Jackson LOVED being carried along in the Bjorn.

Here he is livin' it up. Oh the life of a baby!

Tummy time!

He's learned how to spin around at his little play gym. He used to love it, but I think the novelty is wearing off....although you can't tell that by his expression in this picture.

Here's Jackson hanging out with uncle Larry.

A nice one with grandpa Chase and daddamomma.

Playing catch-up

Before we post some (of the many) pics from SPLICE, we need to catch up and a put up a few from PILAT, the language program that we attended first.Here is a picture of our class along with all the teachers. What an intense couple weeks!

Bryan and Sarah are some fellow Navs that we met a couple years ago at a fundraising conference, they do collegiate work in Oregon. And they were in CO at the same time for another conference with The Navigators. It was great to see them and introduce our boys!

Our new friend Laurie from PILAT who will also be serving in Senegal!

Over Memorial weekend, we also got to see some good friends up in Boulder and meet their little guy!! Mandy and I were college roomates and she and Kyle live in Wyoming now. The Denver area has served us well as a great meeting point!

Now we are at the Glen for about 40 hours for a little sabbath rest and family debriefing time before we head home. It just didn't seem right to finish 5 weeks of intensity and jump in the car to head back to our new normal. SPLICE was amazing and I think we will continue to process all we learned for a while. Some on the blog, some in our journals! But there are more thoughts and pictures to come.

The Colorado Adventure Continues

Here is Jackson meeting his paternal Grandmother for the first time. She was pretty excited.
These are the instructors for our language training, Barbara and Dwight Gradin. They were fantastic and we learned a tremendous amount from them. Their language acquisition techniques are cutting edge and we are excited to put them into practice. We are much better prepared for language study thanks to them.
Jackson spits up a lot. Some of it gets on his Daddy.
On a Saturday afternoon we did some tourist stuff. This picture is at the Manitou Cave Dwellings. We toured the dwellings and visited their surprisingly cool gift shop. Afterward we cruised the shops in Manitou Springs and ate Mexican food in old Colorado City. It was an enjoyable day.

We are now in our second week of culture learning after two full weeks of language. It's all valuable training and we are glad to have this opportunity. We have made some great friends here and get to look at the mountains all the time. Can't complain about that.

Tiny Town

Tiny Town is what you would expect it to be. It's a tiny town in Morrison, Colorado, in the foothills, just outside of Denver. Jackson slept most of the time but everyone else enjoyed it. Tim's brother Larry came along, too.
It's a town that is just his size. He liked hanging out at the Opera House.
There is a tiny train that we got to ride for $1 each.
Heidi loves all things small, so she loved Tiny Town.

This outing was already a week and a half ago, so we are falling behind on posts. Our language training has gone well and we will give an update on it soon.

Our first few days in Colorado

After our visit to Tiny Town (pictures to be posted later) we visited the Mount Lindo Cemetery, which is the location of the Cross on the Mountain. Heidi and Jackson were enjoying the view of Denver from Davy Crockett's tombstone.
Jackson gets wedged in the back with all the luggage. Poor kid. Sometimes we'd move stuff around and Heidi would ride back there with him. We brought a lot of stuff. Most of it is for Jackson though.
Our first few days were spent in meetings, working over logistics at The Navigator's HQ. We got to stay on their property which includes this incredible castle. We did not get to stay in the castle but did eat breakfast there. It was great to see some of our old friends there and meet a few new ones. After our time there, Heidi and I introduced Jackson to my folks and my brother up in Denver. Then we spent the weekend visiting with some friends and a supporting church before heading down to Palmer Lake.
Glen Eyrie is like Rivendell from the Lord of the Rings books. Incredibly beautiful.

Right now we are at Mission Training International, learning about culture and how we learn language. So far so good. Two days down of 5 weeks!!

Nana fix

Since we were living with my folks for a couple weeks before we left for Colorado, my parents got to see Jackson all the time. So I think they are going through a baby Jack withdrawal. So here are a few pictures for Nana!!

Right after getting some shots

Morning time cuddles with Nana

Pictures from our trip so far

On our way out to Colorado, we stopped in Iowa to visit some friends and then Nebraska to visit Heidi's grandparents and a couple aunts.Here is Jackson with his momma and his maternal Grandmother, Jackie.

Here is baby Jackson with his Grandpa Jack. Yes, his grandparents are Jack and Jackie.

just chillin' in the nursing home

Jackson with his great great auntie Frankie

somewhere in NE at a rest stop feeding the babe. so far so good! we are now at the Glen Eyrie Castle on the grounds where Navs headquarters is and will meet with a few folks tomorrow. Colorado is stunning as usual and we had forgotten how beautiful the Glen is :)

Road trip!!!!

Jackson is taking his first road trip. We are leaving in the morning for Colorado. Along the way we will stop and visit my friend Chad in Iowa and Heidi's grandparents in Nebraska. We will be gone for six weeks and will attend a training on language and culture to help us acclimate easier in Africa. It should be excellent training. Taking a trip like this with a four month old is either brave or stupid and we'll let you know in a few weeks which it is for us. The time in God's Country will be busy but we plan to blog and keep everyone up to speed on our adventures.

1 car family

We are now a 1 car family. The Mazda, which I (Tim) bought from friends in 2001, is no longer in our possession. We had decided to go down to one car before our trip to CO since and save money on insurance. Initially we put the Mazda on Craig's List to see if we could get some money. Since there were a few things wrong with it, we could not get much. When I was in the shower on Monday, I felt that the Lord wanted us to give the car away. I had put something on Facebook about the car and a friend indicated that her family could use it. Right after I got that message I took the Mazda for a oil change. After causually mentioning that I was getting rid of the car, a guy at the Valvoline shop offerred me $550 for it. Heidi and I talked and decided that even though the money would look nice in our account, we needed to be obedient to God and give the car away. Our friends were happy to get the car and we feel much more peace about giving it away than selling it. It was a good car and served us well and hopefully it will serve our friends well for a few more years.

We have tenants!

Our house is finally rented. We don't know anything about the new tenants but we pray they are good. The property management company will take care things from now on. We can now focus on getting ready for our trip to Colorado and continue raising our funds for Africa. One less thing to worry about.

Living in Suburbia

We have successfully moved all of our belongings into Heidi's parent's house in Rogers, MN. If you are wondering where Rogers is, you are not alone. It is an outer ring suburb of Minneapolis, about a 30 minute drive Northwest of downtown. The only real bummer of being here is the long drive every time we go anywhere. The positives are many, but they include grandparents who hold Jackson every chance they get, an open basement to sort our belongings and store them while we are in Africa, and a deck for grilling and chilling. Running in this area is horribly boring but I hope to find some interesting trails. The first couple nights I had trouble sleeping because it was so quiet but I am getting used to it.

Our house is almost rented out but not quite. The process has taken much longer than usual but we are hanging in there and waiting it out. We should have some answers about potential tenants this week.

There has been a ton of offseason activity for my beloved Denver Broncos and almost none of it has been good. I think that the owner will regret firing Coach Shanahan, Jay Cutler will regret demanding a trade, and the Broncos will not win 8 games next year. I guess this is a good time to go to Africa. Maybe they'll be good again in 12 years. I was hoping that at least Cutler would get traded to the Vikings and my second favorite team would have a chance but I guess the Vikings enjoy mediocre quarterback play.

We're moving!

We finally have some good news with our house. Yesterday we gave the approval on some renters. There is one paperwork item that needs to clear and if it does, we will have a signed lease on our house in the next couple days. Praise God. That means we need to get our stuff out and moved to Heidi's parent's house on Saturday, April 18. If anyone from the Twin Cities is around and willing to help move some stuff, that would be awesome. We have the U-Haul truck starting at 1 pm and everything will be packed and ready. There will be hardly any furniture to move since we are giving most of it away. We just need a couple people in Mpls and a couple people in Rogers. It should go really fast.

Our next move will be to Africa. Hooray!

our little man

getting in some cuddles before date night

game face

lounging in the bunting that Nana made for my mommy and uncle Dan

Done with work and Jackson's dedication

Friday was my last day working at the National Marrow Donor Program after three and a half years. I am grateful for the interesting people I got to meet and I learned some valuable lessons there. One thing I learned is that I am not cut out for a desk job. I am so much happier when I am interacting with people. I hope that all goes well for my friends at the NMDP. Heidi and I are one step closer to Africa.

On Sunday we had a Dedication Service for Jackson at our church. That means that during the service the pastor called us up and we agreed before the church family that we would dedicate ourselves to raising Jackson in a manner consistent with our Christian faith. Some of our family members were also there to witness and stand in agreement with us. My prayer for Jackson is that he fits the description of John the Baptist in Luke 1:68, “Everyone who heard this wondered about it asking, ‘What then is this child going to be? For the Lord’s hand was with him.” I also pray that as Jackson grows he fits the description of Jesus in Luke 2:52, “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.” I am convinced that he is a child with a special calling from the Lord but I am not sure exactly what that is yet. As he grows I am excited to see who he becomes. My job is to not mess him up too much in the process.